June 04, 2008
All Roads Lead Home
Nah, this here ain't ripped from the pages of Lowrider magazine. This fine, upstanding woman is my mama. So, don't go getting no fresh ideas. Despite the fact that's she's posing with such a nice ride, she ain't really a fan of classic cars. Hard to believe looking at her, I know.
So, why's she care about that ol' truck then anyway? Well, since this '53 Chevy has long since retired from the working life, it's now a show car. The owner still amazingly has the original bill of sale. It lists the salesman as a "Thompson." That guy, he's my granddad. That makes the truck sort of a family artifact. When you have roots as deep and widespread in a particular place as my family does in Conway, SC, you touch on some surprising discoveries.
See there on the right? There's my granddad's name. While you're looking at the invoice, check out the price of the car. Also, I cropped it out, but 15 gallons of gas is listed as costing $4.73 -- only slightly more than the average price of one gallon today. Another interesting bit is that there is an extra charge for a bumper.
Posted by Emerson at 09:07 PM
March 25, 2008
Slightly Off Target
I could be wrong, but I think this advertising strategy has a tiny flaw.
Dargan and E. Cheves St. in Florence, SC
Posted by Emerson at 10:38 PM
March 23, 2008
Is This a Strip Club or What?
Let's play a game.
Is this a strip club ...
or a restaurant?
Okay. One more.
Is this a strip club ...
or a child's amusement? Think his spidey-crotch is tinglin'?
Thanks for playing ... perv.
Posted by Emerson at 11:27 PM
March 16, 2008
Gettting Wasted, Part 3: She Blinded Me with Scientology
Where's Tom Cruise when you really need him? He wasn't around to rescue this significant chunk of the Scientology catalog. It was trashed outside of a church at 7th St and Massachusetts, NW in Washington, DC. According to the enclosed receipt, these items were donated to the church but have a street value of around $300. I gave some of it away to curious coworkers and the remainder to a library. I'm like a Gideon Scientologist or something.
Posted by Emerson at 09:18 PM
November 08, 2007
Houseless Beautiful
With rent like it is, I wonder how much these no-frills studios could go for? Their residents may be technically homeless, but the ingenuity displayed here is a bit inspiring.
Dude has obviously been paying attention at the Homeless Depot Know-How workshops.
Who needs elfa? This place is almost more organized than my apartment.
Posted by Emerson at 10:38 PM
November 04, 2007
Prices Slashed?
15th & U St, NW, Washington, DC
Posted by Emerson at 09:37 PM
October 22, 2007
Getting Wasted, Part 2: Return of the Walker
14th & R, NW, Washington, DC
Someone must not plan on going anywhere anytime soon.
14th & S, NW, Washington, DC
Halloween is coming; why throw out a perfectly good scar?
Posted by Emerson at 11:11 PM
October 04, 2007
Precious Cargo
near 7th & Massachusetts, NW, Washington, DC
12th & M, NW, Washington, DC
Posted by Emerson at 11:41 PM | TrackBack
August 22, 2007
Boys and Girls
This, this is just a just a very green chimney, right? -- location forgotten
And, this I like to pretend is an O'Keeffe work titled Camel Toes -- some store on U near 15th (I think), NW, Washington, DC
Posted by Emerson at 07:06 PM | TrackBack
August 19, 2007
It's Still Nicer Than Ikea
14th & Church Street, NW, Washington, DC
Posted by Emerson at 10:38 PM
Not to be confused with the one from Georgia ...
14th and Church Street, NW, Washington, DC
Posted by Emerson at 10:32 PM
July 16, 2007
Who Wears Short Shorts?
The Smithsonian Folklife Festival in Washington, DC, is an excellent way to expose yourself to living cultural heritage from around the world -- good and bad.
Yes, he's quite cheeky isn't he?
Posted by Emerson at 11:34 PM
April 12, 2007
One Child Left Behind
"I appreciate your humor and your passion for culinary arts." Marco's teacher
Apparently, the feeling is not mutual as I found this note ripped up on the sidewalk. Maybe Marco hoped it was a Mary Kay Letourneau style love note and was heartbroken after discovering it's mundane nature. Or maybe he just really hates his teacher.
click to enlarge
Posted by Emerson at 10:35 PM
March 25, 2007
These Are Not The Mailboxes You're Looking For
Despite the dubious marketing purposes of these mailboxes for expanding the empires of the USPS and George Lucas, I think they're fun and find them much more attractive than the standard blue. I would actually encourage the post office to develop this idea further and turn mailboxes into an ongoing public art project.
Posted by Emerson at 11:55 PM
February 25, 2007
Bill and Ned's Excellent Correspondence
"...you are someone anyone in the world could trust." Ned, circa 2006
I found this letter on the street one day. The content is at turns touching, amusing, and even potentially sad. How history will view it is difficult to say. Does it reveal a blossoming homosexual relationship , portend a stalking tragedy, or simply serve as a nice reminder of the innocence of childhood friendship. Brokeback Mountain? Chuck and Buck? Bill and Ted? Who knows really? I just wanted to Ned to know his letter was appreciated and to be sure and write me back!
Posted by Emerson at 09:55 PM
January 01, 2007
Whatever Happened to Parental Guidance?
The pillar that was my mother recently came crashing down, collapsing my little mama's boy world in on itself. What happened? Well, during a family luncheon my mom casually mentioned she was google searching for celebrity snatch.
Calling my mom a steel magnolia would be a quick and easy way to describe her. She's intelligent, strong willed, opinionated, and adheres to a strict moral code. She's also wacky as all get out. Seriously, she's been known to throw around phrases like "a viper at her bossom" in everyday conversation. Obviously, I couldn't live without her, and look to her for an example as how to proudly live my life.
We share a few similar quirks, too. For example, we both share an almost unhealthy fixation for surfing the Internet. We could spend hours exploring, reading, and looking. We diverge there, however, as her interests are a little more erudite -- or so I thought.
During a family gathering, everyone was engaging in the easy and vapid topic celebrity gossip. Somewhere in here my fine, upstanding mother happened to mention that she saw the infamous picture of Britney Spears flashing her holiest of holys while getting out of a car. Naturally taken a little aback, I asked her how and where. She said she just googled "Britney Spears crotch."
No, I'm serious. Like it was no big deal. My mom actively sought out a picture of vagina on the Internet. And not for educational purposes.
"She had to be chemically enhanced," Mom then openly supposed.
Horrified, I then asked what she did when she saw it.
"I showed your Dad."
Aieee! "Why!?" I pleaded.
"Because I couldn't believe anyone would be that vulgar."
Can any good come of this? Well, yeah, actually. I have a great excuse for looking at Internet porn now.
Posted by Emerson at 09:49 PM | Comments (1)
December 26, 2006
I'm Not Just the President. I'm Also a Member.
Glen "Big Daddy" West continues a tradition of thoughtful and practical gifts.
Posted by Emerson at 09:08 PM | Comments (1)