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January 02, 2007
Catch of the Year
Jessica and I welcomed 2007 with a seafood feast.
We ate more than 5 pounds of the stuff. That's how I like to celebrate. Yum.
Posted by Emerson at 09:04 PM | Comments (1)
January 01, 2007
Whatever Happened to Parental Guidance?
The pillar that was my mother recently came crashing down, collapsing my little mama's boy world in on itself. What happened? Well, during a family luncheon my mom casually mentioned she was google searching for celebrity snatch.
Calling my mom a steel magnolia would be a quick and easy way to describe her. She's intelligent, strong willed, opinionated, and adheres to a strict moral code. She's also wacky as all get out. Seriously, she's been known to throw around phrases like "a viper at her bossom" in everyday conversation. Obviously, I couldn't live without her, and look to her for an example as how to proudly live my life.
We share a few similar quirks, too. For example, we both share an almost unhealthy fixation for surfing the Internet. We could spend hours exploring, reading, and looking. We diverge there, however, as her interests are a little more erudite -- or so I thought.
During a family gathering, everyone was engaging in the easy and vapid topic celebrity gossip. Somewhere in here my fine, upstanding mother happened to mention that she saw the infamous picture of Britney Spears flashing her holiest of holys while getting out of a car. Naturally taken a little aback, I asked her how and where. She said she just googled "Britney Spears crotch."
No, I'm serious. Like it was no big deal. My mom actively sought out a picture of vagina on the Internet. And not for educational purposes.
"She had to be chemically enhanced," Mom then openly supposed.
Horrified, I then asked what she did when she saw it.
"I showed your Dad."
Aieee! "Why!?" I pleaded.
"Because I couldn't believe anyone would be that vulgar."
Can any good come of this? Well, yeah, actually. I have a great excuse for looking at Internet porn now.
Posted by Emerson at 09:49 PM | Comments (1)